Festival Man by Geoff Berner

Author:Geoff Berner
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Dundurn
Published: 2013-09-15T21:00:00+00:00

COME ALL YE BOLD CANADIANS

AFTER I HAD BLAGUED AND BULLSHITTED Sandy and his wife for a while with various half-truths, red herrings. and false promises, and they had yelled at me, and I had yelled at them, they finally had to let me go, since Sandy, who is still quite slight of build and has replaced booze with weed, was not going to hit me, after all.

I was feeling pretty low at that point. Then I just happened to glance down at the cellphone. Three missed calls from a Vancouver number. I didn’t want to recognize it, but there was no mistaking that number. It was of course the payphone on Commercial Drive, just up the hill from our apartment on East Fourth. I didn’t really want to know, but in case it was a medical emergency with Maevey, I needed to just quickly check it.

So yes, I did hear your message, my Love, telling me that the phone had been cut off at home, and I heard your sadness and anger in your voice when you said, “You said that you’d paid it, but the phone company says that we owe five hundred and forty-five dollars, and I need the phone in order to register for my university courses in the fall, and could you please call me?”

Yes, okay, I did get the following two messages, where the anger boiled off, leaving thick despair. My thinking was, I’ve got something absolutely brilliant on the go. I have to stay absolutely focused on the mission at hand, so that I can return as the conquering hero, with cash and a major management deal in hand. Yes, I did spend the phone money on the rental van to get us to the festival, because I’d spent the travel money on the cellphone bill and part of my tab at Café Vasco da Gama, because I’d spent the pay I got from the last Canada Council for the Arts grant on a plane ticket to Nunavut, et cetera., backwards in a never-ending chain of spinning plates of barely serviced debts and expenses. But I was certain, given my abilities, and the talent I work with, thanks to my amazing ear for musical genius, I was certain that I would bring back such an amazing carload of magic beans that all would be forgiven. It’s an old saying, but still powerful as ever as a rule for living: It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry my Love. I should have called you. But can’t anyone see why it seemed wrong to do so at the time? I had to Stay On Target, and to do that, I had to get my head together.

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